ImPerceptibility

Archive for June, 2007

Anyone who has a child knows they will say things to embarrass you. It payment for all the times you embarrass them. It’s part of the game, the give and take of a parent/child relationship. Shortly after my first daughter was born I started embarrassing her. It’s a timed honored tradition to embarrass you children and I wasn’t about to thumb my nose at timed honored tradition. It went something like this

My sister-in-law needed a new television. We decided to go look at them. She found one she liked for a great price. She bought it. We stood in the parking with three adults, a baby in a car seat, a huge box containing a TV, and a Mitsubishi Eclipse to take it all home in. We did manage to fit it all in. Everything except the box and packing materials. If you have never seen a birth you wouldn’t understand the process that was involved. Thankfully my husband and I had recently witnessed the miracle so we knew what to do. Just in reverse.

Just keep pushing! It’s almost there!

Owwh! That hurt. It’s gonna leave a mark.

No, I am not drinking until this thing is safely home.

I’m tired, hot and miserable. Whose bright idea was this anyway?

Ok, now how do we get the baby in there?

Just sit in front and straddle the gearshift. It won’t take long to get there.

Wow, your gonna love having a new TV.

I’ve managed to embarrass both of my daughters on several occasions since then. They’ve managed to embarrass me back as well. It’s just proof that all is well. We are just participants in this thing called life. That’s why I’m not going to be too upset that my daughter told a group of people I hardly knew, but was hoping to get to know, that she really liked the bar mom takes her to for lunch. They have good grilled cheese sandwiches and mommy REALLY likes their root beer.

I thought about explaining that it was a restaurant with a bar. It had a reputation for being a little wild in the evenings but during the day it’s a nice place for a quiet lunch. But I didn’t. I just blamed my red cheeks on the sun. It was a very sunny day.

Michelle asked me to do the 8 Things Meme. Here are the first 8 things I thought about. There is plenty more weirdness you may or may not want to know about. I’ll save some for later.

My birthday is this month. I’ll be 29 again.

I love to bake bread. My pantry is full of different types of flours and grains. It’s almost an obsession. I make really good bread so people tolerate it.

One of my favorite movies is ‘The Big Easy’. “Just relax, darlin’. This is the “Big Easy.” Folks have a certain way o’ doin’ things down here” There have been better, sexier, more meaningful movies since but the young woman in me still wants to dance with Remy with some cajun music in the background.

I’ve only returned to the town I grew up in once. It was for my brother’s high school graduation. There is no reason I don’t go back. I just figure I spent enough of my life there.

I don’t visit the battlefields in Fredericksburg. I can’t stop myself from imagining that the grass is green because it is has been well feed by the spilt blood of other women’s children.

I had freshly picked strawberries for lunch yesterday. They were good.

I don’t eat beef because I grew up near a cattle farm. They would sell the calves to other farms. I would stay awake at night and listen to the mother cows mooing for the babies they couldn’t find. Beef doesn’t taste so good when I think about that. Every once in awhile I’ll eat a hotdog or something that has beef in it. I pretend it’s the mean bull that tried to trample my dog. That’s doesn’t taste too bad.

Nuns frighten me. Especially when they travel in packs. I use to think that they would suck me up into their skirts and make me go to heaven if I wanted to or not. I’m not sure where I got that idea. Probably my dad.

From before: 10 weird things about me.