As the top investigative reporter for ImPerceptibility I feel that I have an obligation to investigate and explain some of the lesser know phenomena that exists in our universe. Today I will take on the super power known as Boob-dar.
Boob-dar: What it’s not
Boob-dar is in itself a super power and should not be confused with Booby-dar. Booby-dar is an innate ability possessed by most men that allows them to focus their undivided attention on a nice rack. Most men appreciate the aesthetic value of a nice set of knockers and therefore this would be classified as a skill, not a super power.
Boob-dar: Definition
According to my research, boob-dar is a super power possessed by a limited number of men. The acquisition of this power comes on suddenly and, with the exception of accuracy, is fully functional from the onset. The power can be best classified as the ability to roll over in the middle night and place your right hand directly on the right breast of the woman sleeping next to you. Boob-dar is unaffected by lighting conditions. Even in the darkest of room the power is functional. It is also unaffected by the relative position of the right breast to the right hand. The sitting up, sleeping on the side, or scooting down further in the bed evasive maneuvers are ineffective in blocking the power.
[Note: There is also a less common power know as Reverse Boob-dar that is present in about 10% of the Boob-dar community. It is essentially the same as Boob-dar but involves the use of the left hand and breast.]
The following is a transcript of an interview with Subject A. In order to protect his identity I have changed his name and decided to call him MyHusband.
Transcript of Interview with MyHusband
ImP: So, MyHusband can you tell me when you first realized you had this amazing power?
MH: It was around the first time I slept with a beautiful woman.
ImP: That would be our wedding night?
MH: Uhhh, … yeah?
ImP: Very well, have you noticed any fluctuations in your abilities? Are there certain times of the day it becomes stronger. Does it seem to be getting stronger or weaker as you get older?
MH: I haven’t noticed any changes. My Boob-dar seems to have come on strong and hasn’t let up. I have noticed an increase in accuracy in the last few years.
ImP: I have talked to several scientists that specialize in the field of super powers and there are several theories as to why some men posses this ability. Do you have any idea how you managed to obtain this power?
MH: There is no official explanation of my power. It’s all conjecture.
ImP: c-o-n-j? e-c oh, yes, how did you feel when you first learned you had this power?
MH: (Grinning) It felt nice.
ImP: Umm, yeah, moving on. Have you had any problems related to your use of this power?
MH: You remember when you were breast-feeding?
ImP: Ohh right. So you are saying there are a few kinks to work out?
MH: (Laughing) Something like that. Would you like a demonstration of my amazing abilities?
ImP: I’m a professional reporter for ImPerceptibility. Your suggestion is most inappropriate. You best watch it mister or I’ll yell harassment.
MH: Fine by me.
ImP: Maybe we should go off the record?
[The rest of this interview was conducted off the record.]
Conclusion
Little is know about the origins of the Boob-dar super power. Some scientists believe it be an evolutionary hitchhiker that has carried over from the time of the caveman. Other are leaning towards a genetic mutation. While men that posses this power seem to be very proud of their abilities, the value of such power is indeterminate. I will be conducting further research into this matter and will keep you posted as to any new discoveries or theories.
January 27th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
both my dh and my son have this power.
Caity alarmingly has the power of resting her hand ‘comfortably and casually) on men’s parts!
January 28th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
There seems to be a genetic component as suspected by many in the scientific community. I will forward your account to the research lab for proper documentation. Thank You!