ImPerceptibility

Archive for the ‘Bloggers’ Category

This choice was made under a tree last month.  I waited to be sure it was true.  It is and it is right. I’ll miss ImPerceptibility but mostly I’ll miss you.  Take care.

Goodbye Stranger

It was an early morning yesterday
I was up before the dawn
And I really have enjoyed my stay
But I must be moving on

Like a king without a castle
Like a queen without a throne
I’m an early morning lover
And I must be moving on

Now I believe in what you say
As the undisputed truth
But I have to have things my own way
To keep me in my youth

Like a ship without an anchor
Like a slave without a chain
Just the thought of those sweet ladies
Sends a shiver through my veins

And I will go on shining
Shining like brand new
I’ll never look behind me
My troubles will be few

(Goodbye stranger it’s been nice)
(Hope you find your paradise)
(Tried to see your point of view)
(Hope your dreams will all come true)
(Goodbye Mary, Goodbye Jane)
(Will we ever meet again)
(Feel no sorrow, feel no shame)
(Come tomorrow, feel no pain)

Sweet devotion,
It’s not for me
Just give me motion,
To set me free
Land in the ocean,
Far away
By my chosen
Every day

So Goodbye Mary,
Goodbye Jane
Will we ever
Meet again

Now some they do and some they don’t
And some you just can’t tell
And some they will and some they won’t
With some it’s just as well

You can laugh at my behavior
That’ll never bother me
Say the devil is my savior
But I don’t pay no heed

And I will go on shining
Shining like brand new
I’ll never look behind me
My troubles will be few

(Goodbye stranger it’s been nice)
(Hope you find your paradise)
(Tried to see your point of view)
(Hope your dreams will all come true)
(Goodbye Mary, Goodbye Jane)
(Will we ever meet again)
(Feel no sorrow, feel no shame)
(Come tomorrow, feel no pain)

Sweet devotion,
It’s not for me
Just give me motion,
To set me free
Land in the ocean,
Far away
By my chosen,
Every day

Now I’m leaving,
Got to go,
Hit the road
I’m sayin’ once again,
oh yes I’m leaving
Got to go,
Got to go.
I’m sorry another day
But Goodbye Mary,
Goodbye Jane
Will we ever
Meet again

Oh I’m leavin’
I’ve got to go

Hey Honey, we’re walking across the country next July. That was the sentence I greeted MyHusband with last July. He said, “Really?”

I assured him it was true and real, and I wasn’t smoking crack. I told him I needed a backpack and new boots.

He explained that it was a long, long way across the country.

I explained we weren’t walking across this country, we were walking across England and he seemed a bit relieved. Then I explained why we were doing this.

The thing is, sometimes bad things happen. You can sit around on your butt and talk about them, or you can pretend they didn’t happen, or you can go do something to help. But they do happen even if we don’t want to think about them.

In 2008 Dan got off his fat butt and did something about it. He also managed to reduce the size of his butt in the process. This year he is taking 60 of us with him. It should be quite an adventure. I hope my butt survives because,

In a few months I will be off to walk 8 thousand (give or take 7916 miles) across England. MyHusband and I will be staying in flea infested hostels, moldy tent, and a B&B that may or may not be run by a lunatic. Only time will tell.

MyHusband will be eating Teriyaki Beef Jerky and Gummy Bears and I will be eating whatever they give me, or maybe whatever I can forage. Dan has yet to tell me how he plans to feed us. I’m a little worried. No one believes me but, I will be bringing my alligator. As participants we are looking forward to the trip and meeting new friends we have gotten to know through blogging. As parents we are honored to help raise money for The Joseph Salmon Trust, a small charity set up by Neil and Rachael Salmon to honor their son Joseph who they lost to pneumonia at the age of three.

The charity assists parents who have lost a child irregardless of the age of their child. They help with funeral costs or pay some basic household expenses which allows the self employed a break from work while they come to terms with their loss. They fill a gap that is often overlooked. I think the sentence, “Nothing we can do will make their situation better, but we can help stop it getting worse” sums things up perfectly.

The trustees of the Joseph Salmon Trust are volunteers and the minimal overhead costs are covered by corporate sponsors, so 100% of every dollar/pound given will go to assist parents that have lost a child.

So, how about it. Will you help me with a donation to the Joseph Salmon Trust? Right now I have raised exactly $0. That’s a bit embarrassing. So if you can, please help me out.

I’ll keep you updated on the walk and let you know if I survived.

I think I’m busier now than I was during the holidays. I’m fine with that. I’ve been having fun. Here’s a quick preview of what I’ve been up to and what’s to come.

I’ve been working on plans for something really cool that I’m doing in July. I’ll have a post about that in the next few days. The post involves Dan and his fat ass. At least the draft does. We’ll see how the final turns out.

I decided to re-do my youngest’s entire school plan. We’ve kept the same Math (Calvert) and Spelling (Sequential Spelling) because she enjoys both of those but I’ve ditched the reading, science, and history. She’s okay with them but she’s more of a hands-on project type of learner and what I was using was becoming more of a chore than a fun learning experience. So instead of breaking everything up into subjects I’m working on projects that incorporate all the subjects into fun hands on projects. We’ll see how they go and I’ll post some if they turn out as awesome as I think they will. If you’re curious, I’ll tell you that the first project includes making a guitar out of a K’nex box. But that’s all I’m saying until I see how everything turns out!

Our family has five birthdays in three weeks. It’s a busy birthday month. Happy Birthday everyone. Bring on the cake.

I organized my office. Not the whole office, just the messiest parts. I made notebooks for all my favorite projects. They’re complete with label and everything. MyHusband bought a new shelf and left it sitting in the hall so I took it, put it together, and it is now my shelf in my office. Snooze you loose. It looks all fancy in there now. I still have to move the cat box to work at my desk but it works for me.

I’ve been learning about Type 1 diabetes. My neighbors daughter, my daughters’ good friend was diagnosed in October and since I love her and she’s over here a lot I thought I should know more about it. She spent the night here a few weeks ago and it was so hard to help her with her insulin and try to stay calm and upbeat especially when I saw all the bruises on her legs from the injections. I managed even though I sat on the couch and cried after they went to bed. Since then I have been trying recipes for low-carb after school snacks and sugar free/low sugar baking. It’s a little harder since she’s a vegetarian and a growing/constantly hungry kid but I’m getting a few good recipes together.

And that is what I’ve been up to so far in 2010. What about you?

Thanks to Lisa at What the heck was she thinking? for posting this.  I love these type of quizzes.  It was almost as fun as the Dante’s Inferno Quiz even though we already knew I was destined to hell as a lustful heretic.  But who knew I was also a Quaker? A lustful, heritical, Quaker.  Well, God Damn!

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

I’m back from a vacation at the beach. I ate tomato sandwiches, built sandcastles, waited for sea turtles to hatch, and was almost sacrificed to the sea. It’s good to be back but then again it’s not. I missed you guys but not really. My sunburn hurts but not too much.

It’s taking some time to get caught up with laundry, gardening, having sex, and reading your wonderful posts. Due to my remarkable speed-reading skills, I’ve caught up with a few blogs and I was wondering, What the hell is going on? I leave you guys alone for one week and you guys go out of control. Why don’t you do that when I’m here to enjoy it?

I mean really, I open up my reader and I find that:

Mamazilla has either run off with Johnny Depp or the Cicadas got her and flew her to OZ. Click your heels together, Mamazilla. Click your heels!

Beloved bought some leather and a bike. No one has heard from her since but I hear there are rumors and pictures circulating.

Whit’s wife is out of town and he is writing about oral sex and masturbating in a stream with barking dogs.

RTK was giving samples of his urine to women but they weren’t interested because it was red and contained anchovies.

Anthony is probably dead and currently being consumed by his cat.

Frowning Bill is currently unable to update his comics because Crystal has him tied up in a closet until he promises to stop burning the lawn furniture. Unfortunately he likes it, so it might be awhile before he posts again.

Chris is riding packhorses around National parks and looking for Rubies while using his ADD to throw marshmallows at Michael Phelps.

Lady Banana is having a gender identity crisis. My opinion, stick with Lady. Sir Banana sounds a little odd.

Dan stopped complaining about me giving him blisters and is booking a flight so I can take him on a real walk and, teach him, how to, use commas. He’ll be here once he fulfills his duties and kicks some blogger ass. I’m not sure whose.

An episode of Strange Love went terrible wrong and Cami is currently remote blogging until they can figure out how to get her untangled and down from there.

Ed got a call when he was in New Orleans and is now giving away his kid.

Amelia has joined the Mormon Church and might be moving to Utah once she stops kicking me in the ribs.

Dawn is fighting a terrible addiction and loosing. Step away from the curriculum, Dawn. Step away!

Phil is showing off his legs and playing with floating tree branches because it’s cool.

Bill is throwing up after he partied with the twins but he at least remembered to wrap it up.

Okay, that’s as far as I’ve gotten. I think I’ve gotten everything straight. My speed-reading skills are amazing aren’t they? Did I miss anything?

Lady Banana had this on her blog and I decided to try it. It’s a list of what I need as determined by the Google search “ImPerceptible needs”.

ImPerceptible needs no defense.

ImPerceptible needs little cross motion or interruption to stop.

ImPerceptible’s needs can function as constitutive.

ImPerceptible needs of both litre and industry.

ImPerceptible needs mentality and camphor migrating in Brighton, England.

ImPerceptible needs before drinking.

ImPerceptible needs to stand fully from the bar.

ImPerceptible needs to assail that you have boundaries, what they are and the beards for rebagging them.

ImPerceptible needs of a snowflake.

ImPerceptible needs by wilting a cryogenic ass sample.

ImPerceptible needs to be adjusted.

ImPerceptible needs a nonphilosophy that comprehends it.

ImPerceptible needs for a method to print an image.

ImPerceptible needs before easier needs can emerge, and consecrate.

ImPerceptible needs that the eyebrows be always well plucked.

ImPerceptible needs of both luck and industry.

ImPerceptible needs concealing.

Well, I guess I finally know what I need. Ain’t Google great? So tell me, what do you need?

I’m not feeling well today. Perhaps the virus that is taking over my body started yesterday with my brain. That might explain why I posted pictures of huge-ass underwear and threatened to buy MyHusband extra small condoms. Then again, maybe not. Who knows? So, instead of risking another post like that I am stealing a comic from Bill at Frowning of a Lifetime. If you haven’t seen his comics you should go now. They’re a lot of fun and he’s getting very good. Just don’t ask him to make tea. Trust me on that one.

For Anthony. Hope your flight has enough turbulence to keep things interesting but not enough to bring you down. Unless you’re going down in a good way. Then that OK.

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I was going to write a post about the2007 Homeschool Blog Awards for Fundies United to Criticize and Kondemn Most Everyone, but COD took care of it for me. He’s very efficient like that. He’s aLinux man. Thanks!

Today is the big day, the voting for the 2007 Homeschool Blog Awards for Fundies United to Criticize and Kondemn Most Everyone (The FUCKME’s) is officially open. After an exhaustive analysis that took almost 15 seconds, I have determined that most deserving blog in each category is the blog listed last. The people on the bottom of the list never win, so let’s help them out. They’ll be winners, and they’ll have a bunch of beer swilling, gay, atheist, freedom loving homeschoolers to thank for their victory.

I’m sure they’ll be thrilled.

Kudos to Daryl for the new name for the awards.

Please feel free to cut and paste this post if that is the easiest way for you to spread the word.

Have you ever seen Kettle Corn being made. They heat the oil in a huge copper kettle and just as it starts to pop they add the sugary goodness? It’s a lot of fun watching the corn rattling around in the kettle. And rattle it does. I’m not here to talk about fairground foods. Nope, I might one day, but this is not the one.

Today I am talking about bloggers. One in particular. His name would be Rattling the Kettle and he deserves to be thanked. You see, I left a sweet innocent message on his blog and he responded to me inappropriately. Not Catholic Priest inappropriate, it was a taunt. Maybe more of a threat.

“Oh, I’ll place you in a special section alright!” Rattling The Kettle rattled to me

I’m not one to go looking for a fight. I’m not one to let idol threats go unchallenged either. I sweetly and innocently let him know he could try. The thing is, the threat wasn’t idol. It was fairly active and I now have my own blogroll on his site. I’m in the “special” section. Check it out. It’s at the bottom. It should be on the top but I’m not picky.

So now, as I promised him, I am letting him know how much I appreciated his kindness. I am a nice person with good manners and I do things like that. I have chosen to appreciate him with very bad poetry.

There once was a man from Pasadena
He drove a Prius in winter
He drove it in the summer too
Without air conditioning
Because he’s so effin’ cheap!

There once was a dude from California
He had this thing for boobs
They were here and there
They were everywhere
What up with the breast feeding fetish dude?

There once was a man named RTK
That couldn’t tell humor from organic free-range chicken eggs
He apparently doesn’t realize
I’m the awesome dude blogger (in my own eyes)
I had the best caption for an aroused zebra EVER!

There once was a lawyer from out west
I’ll probably regret what I say next
I’d planned on being meaner
But he put up such a sweet post about his son I couldn’t.
He’s a big effin’ jerk.

Rattling The Kettle, you can consider yourself thanked. I wasn’t joking about that restraining order!