ImPerceptibility

Archive for the ‘Bloggers’ Category

I think I’m busier now than I was during the holidays. I’m fine with that. I’ve been having fun. Here’s a quick preview of what I’ve been up to and what’s to come.

I’ve been working on plans for something really cool that I’m doing in July. I’ll have a post about that in the next few days. The post involves Dan and his fat ass. At least the draft does. We’ll see how the final turns out.

I decided to re-do my youngest’s entire school plan. We’ve kept the same Math (Calvert) and Spelling (Sequential Spelling) because she enjoys both of those but I’ve ditched the reading, science, and history. She’s okay with them but she’s more of a hands-on project type of learner and what I was using was becoming more of a chore than a fun learning experience. So instead of breaking everything up into subjects I’m working on projects that incorporate all the subjects into fun hands on projects. We’ll see how they go and I’ll post some if they turn out as awesome as I think they will. If you’re curious, I’ll tell you that the first project includes making a guitar out of a K’nex box. But that’s all I’m saying until I see how everything turns out!

Our family has five birthdays in three weeks. It’s a busy birthday month. Happy Birthday everyone. Bring on the cake.

I organized my office. Not the whole office, just the messiest parts. I made notebooks for all my favorite projects. They’re complete with label and everything. MyHusband bought a new shelf and left it sitting in the hall so I took it, put it together, and it is now my shelf in my office. Snooze you loose. It looks all fancy in there now. I still have to move the cat box to work at my desk but it works for me.

I’ve been learning about Type 1 diabetes. My neighbors daughter, my daughters’ good friend was diagnosed in October and since I love her and she’s over here a lot I thought I should know more about it. She spent the night here a few weeks ago and it was so hard to help her with her insulin and try to stay calm and upbeat especially when I saw all the bruises on her legs from the injections. I managed even though I sat on the couch and cried after they went to bed. Since then I have been trying recipes for low-carb after school snacks and sugar free/low sugar baking. It’s a little harder since she’s a vegetarian and a growing/constantly hungry kid but I’m getting a few good recipes together.

And that is what I’ve been up to so far in 2010. What about you?

Thanks to Lisa at What the heck was she thinking? for posting this.  I love these type of quizzes.  It was almost as fun as the Dante’s Inferno Quiz even though we already knew I was destined to hell as a lustful heretic.  But who knew I was also a Quaker? A lustful, heritical, Quaker.  Well, God Damn!

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

I’m back from a vacation at the beach. I ate tomato sandwiches, built sandcastles, waited for sea turtles to hatch, and was almost sacrificed to the sea. It’s good to be back but then again it’s not. I missed you guys but not really. My sunburn hurts but not too much.

It’s taking some time to get caught up with laundry, gardening, having sex, and reading your wonderful posts. Due to my remarkable speed-reading skills, I’ve caught up with a few blogs and I was wondering, What the hell is going on? I leave you guys alone for one week and you guys go out of control. Why don’t you do that when I’m here to enjoy it?

I mean really, I open up my reader and I find that:

Mamazilla has either run off with Johnny Depp or the Cicadas got her and flew her to OZ. Click your heels together, Mamazilla. Click your heels!

Beloved bought some leather and a bike. No one has heard from her since but I hear there are rumors and pictures circulating.

Whit’s wife is out of town and he is writing about oral sex and masturbating in a stream with barking dogs.

RTK was giving samples of his urine to women but they weren’t interested because it was red and contained anchovies.

Anthony is probably dead and currently being consumed by his cat.

Frowning Bill is currently unable to update his comics because Crystal has him tied up in a closet until he promises to stop burning the lawn furniture. Unfortunately he likes it, so it might be awhile before he posts again.

Chris is riding packhorses around National parks and looking for Rubies while using his ADD to throw marshmallows at Michael Phelps.

Lady Banana is having a gender identity crisis. My opinion, stick with Lady. Sir Banana sounds a little odd.

Dan stopped complaining about me giving him blisters and is booking a flight so I can take him on a real walk and, teach him, how to, use commas. He’ll be here once he fulfills his duties and kicks some blogger ass. I’m not sure whose.

An episode of Strange Love went terrible wrong and Cami is currently remote blogging until they can figure out how to get her untangled and down from there.

Ed got a call when he was in New Orleans and is now giving away his kid.

Amelia has joined the Mormon Church and might be moving to Utah once she stops kicking me in the ribs.

Dawn is fighting a terrible addiction and loosing. Step away from the curriculum, Dawn. Step away!

Phil is showing off his legs and playing with floating tree branches because it’s cool.

Bill is throwing up after he partied with the twins but he at least remembered to wrap it up.

Okay, that’s as far as I’ve gotten. I think I’ve gotten everything straight. My speed-reading skills are amazing aren’t they? Did I miss anything?

Lady Banana had this on her blog and I decided to try it. It’s a list of what I need as determined by the Google search “ImPerceptible needs”.

ImPerceptible needs no defense.

ImPerceptible needs little cross motion or interruption to stop.

ImPerceptible’s needs can function as constitutive.

ImPerceptible needs of both litre and industry.

ImPerceptible needs mentality and camphor migrating in Brighton, England.

ImPerceptible needs before drinking.

ImPerceptible needs to stand fully from the bar.

ImPerceptible needs to assail that you have boundaries, what they are and the beards for rebagging them.

ImPerceptible needs of a snowflake.

ImPerceptible needs by wilting a cryogenic ass sample.

ImPerceptible needs to be adjusted.

ImPerceptible needs a nonphilosophy that comprehends it.

ImPerceptible needs for a method to print an image.

ImPerceptible needs before easier needs can emerge, and consecrate.

ImPerceptible needs that the eyebrows be always well plucked.

ImPerceptible needs of both luck and industry.

ImPerceptible needs concealing.

Well, I guess I finally know what I need. Ain’t Google great? So tell me, what do you need?

I’m not feeling well today. Perhaps the virus that is taking over my body started yesterday with my brain. That might explain why I posted pictures of huge-ass underwear and threatened to buy MyHusband extra small condoms. Then again, maybe not. Who knows? So, instead of risking another post like that I am stealing a comic from Bill at Frowning of a Lifetime. If you haven’t seen his comics you should go now. They’re a lot of fun and he’s getting very good. Just don’t ask him to make tea. Trust me on that one.

For Anthony. Hope your flight has enough turbulence to keep things interesting but not enough to bring you down. Unless you’re going down in a good way. Then that OK.

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I was going to write a post about the2007 Homeschool Blog Awards for Fundies United to Criticize and Kondemn Most Everyone, but COD took care of it for me. He’s very efficient like that. He’s aLinux man. Thanks!

Today is the big day, the voting for the 2007 Homeschool Blog Awards for Fundies United to Criticize and Kondemn Most Everyone (The FUCKME’s) is officially open. After an exhaustive analysis that took almost 15 seconds, I have determined that most deserving blog in each category is the blog listed last. The people on the bottom of the list never win, so let’s help them out. They’ll be winners, and they’ll have a bunch of beer swilling, gay, atheist, freedom loving homeschoolers to thank for their victory.

I’m sure they’ll be thrilled.

Kudos to Daryl for the new name for the awards.

Please feel free to cut and paste this post if that is the easiest way for you to spread the word.

Have you ever seen Kettle Corn being made. They heat the oil in a huge copper kettle and just as it starts to pop they add the sugary goodness? It’s a lot of fun watching the corn rattling around in the kettle. And rattle it does. I’m not here to talk about fairground foods. Nope, I might one day, but this is not the one.

Today I am talking about bloggers. One in particular. His name would be Rattling the Kettle and he deserves to be thanked. You see, I left a sweet innocent message on his blog and he responded to me inappropriately. Not Catholic Priest inappropriate, it was a taunt. Maybe more of a threat.

“Oh, I’ll place you in a special section alright!” Rattling The Kettle rattled to me

I’m not one to go looking for a fight. I’m not one to let idol threats go unchallenged either. I sweetly and innocently let him know he could try. The thing is, the threat wasn’t idol. It was fairly active and I now have my own blogroll on his site. I’m in the “special” section. Check it out. It’s at the bottom. It should be on the top but I’m not picky.

So now, as I promised him, I am letting him know how much I appreciated his kindness. I am a nice person with good manners and I do things like that. I have chosen to appreciate him with very bad poetry.

There once was a man from Pasadena
He drove a Prius in winter
He drove it in the summer too
Without air conditioning
Because he’s so effin’ cheap!

There once was a dude from California
He had this thing for boobs
They were here and there
They were everywhere
What up with the breast feeding fetish dude?

There once was a man named RTK
That couldn’t tell humor from organic free-range chicken eggs
He apparently doesn’t realize
I’m the awesome dude blogger (in my own eyes)
I had the best caption for an aroused zebra EVER!

There once was a lawyer from out west
I’ll probably regret what I say next
I’d planned on being meaner
But he put up such a sweet post about his son I couldn’t.
He’s a big effin’ jerk.

Rattling The Kettle, you can consider yourself thanked. I wasn’t joking about that restraining order!

A big thanking is due to Anthony of sink.into.the.pacific. Despite recently becoming a monk he has taken the time to tag me. For the Whit MeMe. I appreciate the snuggle from the object of my mostly platonic affections.

Now for the part we have been waiting for:

Slightly More than Seven Things I Dig About Whit.

1. I can spend quite a bit of time thinking of a good smart-ass comment; two minutes later, he will reply with an even better smart-ass comment. I dig someone that can think fast and make me try harder.
2. He obviously loves his kids. I dig a guy that adores his children and can express it a way that makes everyone else adores him. Example 1, 2, and 3.
3. Even though he doesn’t understand it, he respects my drunken desire to have a religious experience with a fresh ripe tomato. I dig anyone that respects a womans drunken desires.
4. I own stock in Church and Dwight, Inc. They make Nair.
5. He quit a job he hated to be a SAHD that works from home. Stay-at-home dads always get a big thumbs up in my book. It takes a special kind of guy to do a job like that.
6. He writes poetry. What woman doesn’t dig a dude that can write poetry, especially if it’s good. 
7. He will argue passionately about the non-girliness of the drink called mojito. He thinks ‘Hemmingway drank it’ is a good argument.
8. He knows how to stay out of trouble. About the time he realized I was writing this post he came barreling over here to leave a nice comment about my writing.
9. He may be the only person in the world that can make me giggle about a dead cat.  Now that I think about it, he makes me giggle about a lot of things I shouldn’t giggle about. I dig that.

That brings to an end my diggin’ of Whit. I’m having trouble figuring out the next tag. I am thinking Rattling the Kettle because he has the highest number of recent links to Whit on Technorati and I am certain it would be good. The originator of the MeMe, Island Girl,  agrees with me so how about it, RTK?