ImPerceptibility

Archive for the ‘Recommendations’ Category

I Recommend that you use:

Method brand Sweet Water scented air enhancer when you have a new puppy. It is the perfect complimentary smell to dog urine. They work well together. Never go for the citrus. Also, boiling a pot of cinnamon and cloves on the stove is helpful (unless you boil the water out and they burn).

If someone says, “You have a really young wife”

I recommend that you never say ‘She’s not that young’

The ‘I didn’t want them to think I robbed the cradle excuse’ is not gonna work.

I recommend that you never:

say “I’m trying to figure out if Greg, the Wiggle is dying” when your husband asks you what you’ve been up to on-line for the last 40 minutes.

I recommend that you never:

Yell “Were having dinner as soon as I get done uploading this picture of handcuffs to blogger” out an open window. Especially if the neighbors are out there.

I recommend that you never:

Lecture your kids about the rudeness of burping at the table unless you are certain that you yourself will not burp, 5 seconds later, when asking for the potatoes.

I Recommend that you never:

Try and break up with your beer guzzling redneck boyfriend with the old “I think we should see other people” line. He’s just gonna say – But I don’t want you to see other people.

I know, I need to let that go.

I recommend that you never:

In a fit of frustration say – Will you stop acting like a two year old! – to your temper tantrum throwing daughter. Especially if you’re in the middle of the mall and your daughter is two years old.

Come on. We’ve all had stupid parent moments. Confess and let them go. I’d love to hear a few

I do not recommend to you ever:

Try and drink a sauce that has the words “howling” and “hot” in the name.

I recommend that you always:

Bring an umbrella to a water gun fight.