I’m not sure if it’s me. Maybe I have some kind of curse. Weird things always happen to me at Christmas time. Nothing outrageous, just a little weird.
It all started years ago, just before Christmas. I was driving to school for my final exam in Chemistry. There was a work truck in front of me and it had a port-a-potty chained to the back. I was minding my own business, rockin’ out to Def Leopard, and the next thing I knew, the toilet started to fall off the truck. I slammed on my breaks and watched as it teetered back in forth on the truck. It was suspended by the chain. It never fell off, but it scared the poop out of both the driver and me. I sat in the middle of the road for a while watching as he pulled over and started to re-secure the load. Once I had finally regained my composure and was ready to throw shit to the wind and start driving again, I shouted out the window, “I said pour some SUGAR on me dumb ass!” I think that’s when it all went bad.
One year I found a dead mouse in our Christmas tree. Another I stepped on a string of lights and cut my foot. The next year, I badly cut my index finger with a knife trying to make Christmas cookies. I had to get 4 stitches. I also had an allergic reaction to some peppermint scented bubble bath. Once, I sneezed and backed into a menorah at a party and broke a candle. Weird things like that always seem to happen.
Last year it got really weird. I received a Christmas card from someone I didn’t know. It was addressed to me, not the family. The name seemed a little familiar, but I couldn’t figure out who it was. I started searching the Internet and eventually found out. It was from a coroner in South Carolina. I received a Christmas card from a coroner! With my past Christmas time history, I was a little worried. Luckily, I’m southern enough to know a sign when I see one.
Even though I may have died, I didn’t get support from family and friends. They thought the whole thing was funny. I was extra careful and nothing weird happened. Yesterday, I opened up the mailbox and once again, I have a Christmas card from a coroner. That means that everything is fine now. I’m safe for another year! I think…
February 28th, 2007 at 12:00 am
Yes, a lot of good magic. You can see it in the kiddies eyes. :)
February 28th, 2007 at 12:00 am
hahaha! had a good laugh about that potty thang…i’d have a heartattack for sure….i say it’s pure good luck that potty DID NOT roll over on to you! it could’ve, it threatened, BUT it didn’t.
christmas means different things to many people…mebbe you’re figuring yours personally? just remember, there’s a lot of good magic in that winter solstice moment!