In my dream musicians and writers, poets and preachers, artists and politicians surrounded me. There were many emotions but none of them were gentle. They criticized, they scolded, they were unyielding. Arrogant polished words gleaned from an expensive education and years of being told they were special floated around the room assaulting my better judgment. “This is what happens when you get too much of what you want,” I thought. I covered my ears with my hands.
“Proving you’re right isn’t the same thing as being right,” I shouted at them. They didn’t hear me. They never do. They never want to hear me anymore.
I went outside and sat against the wall with my knees pressed against my chest. I sucked the smoke deep into my lungs and exhaled violently. Blowing away the feelings that I didn’t want to have.
For some reason, only known to my subconscious, Tim Barry walked up to me. He said something I don’t remember. It purged my emotions like a stomach flu purges the digestive track. (I know that wasn’t pretty but it was fitting) Then he patted me on the head like Andy Griffith would pat Opie.
“But why?” I asked. “Why can’t they? I don’t want to be alone.”
“There are worse things to be than alone,” he said. “Not everyone has enough heart to turn a one night stand into a summer long romance. What you want you have to do for yourself. They won’t help you. They don’t know how.”
I spoke with the voice of a young child. “I know that’s true. I’ve always known that was true.” Then I kicked dirt on him. “Fuck you for making me say it’s true.”
“You’re welcome,” he said.
I woke up crying even though I wasn’t sad.
February 13th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Who the fuck is Tim Barry?
February 13th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Nice. I wake up from a dream and all I can remember is that I was having a dream.
February 14th, 2008 at 3:11 am
Oh Tim Barry. I can totally see him haunting my dreams. Actually, with the days I have been having, he is trying to get involved in my non sleeping time, but I’m holding out.
You should read the blog on his myspace page. I know it is myspace, but it is pretty sad and you feel bad.
Coming back to the apartment, this made my night.
February 14th, 2008 at 9:27 am
What a strange dream…
To be honest i agree with rattling the kettle when i ask “who is tim barry”
Great blog post… only just come across your blog today and i am loving it.
February 14th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
RTK - Here’s a video of Tim Barry. He has a website timbarryrva.com and timbarryrva on myspace. He’s kinda alt-country, kinda folk, a bit punk, mostly something else. I like his music. It proves my long held belief that punks are folk/country singers with bigger mouthes, louder instruments, and bad attitudes. I’m interested in seeing where this type of musics is going. It works well for the I’m too old for this shit even though I still like it crowd.
Tim Barry
Ed - I’ve remembered my dreams since I was a little kid. Most of them are boring. Me walking around looking for a pencil sharpener and stuff. Some like this one are weird and I love those.
Anthony - I’m glad you’re holding out. I worry about you even though I shouldn’t. That was sad news on his blog. It seems like he’s moving forward. I checked the smoke and fire schedule and they’re going to be in Chicago soon. If you go you can tell me if they’re worth paying for a babysitter when they’re in Richmond. ;)
Little Tykes - Thanks for stopping by. There are some videos on youTube as well. I watched one where he was embarrassed about singing one of his versus in front of his mom. I thought that was adorable.
February 17th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Excellent post and good song.
February 18th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
I like this a lot. it reminds me of reading On The Road loving it and re-reading parts of it and realizing it was all bullshit, well most of it anyway. Google is a beautiful tool people look him up!
February 20th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Thank you, Whit…I am always thanking you.
Yeah people, what Bill said. I have a bunch of spoiled readers thats for sure. :)