ImPerceptibility

Yeah, I know. I been neglecting you. I’m sorry. You see, I’ve had this problem. In the grand scheme of things it isn’t a terribly big problem, but it was a problem none the less. I woke up about three weeks ago and realized that summer was almost over and it really pissed me off. This is the last summer before my oldest turns into a teenager. It was the last summer before my youngest hit double digits in age. It was the last summer before I got yet another year older and it was the last summer before next summer. I wasn’t happy and it quickly became apparent that no one else was gonna be happy either. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all. My heart wasn’t where it wanted to be.

So, I drank whiskey in a bar.

I smiled and blew kisses at a man with a snake.

I left the kids with a friend and drove 2.5 hours to see a man play a guitar.

I drank beer.

I walked at night on strange streets

I made jokes about Scottish bagpipe techno gansta music.

I made out with MyHusband on a bench under a street light.

I high-fived drunk 20 something yo boys.

I screamed louder than anyone else to my favorite songs.

I sent and received drunk text messages.

I pounded on the table and stuck my fist in the air.

I listened to stories.

I tipped the bartender way more than he was expecting but less than he was worth.

I got tears in my eyes when the last song played.

I stayed up until dawn too excited to even think about sleeping.

I ate lumpy oatmeal out of a paper bowl.

I saw the sun shining on the top of a mountain.

In the distance I heard the long soft whistle of a train and felt my heart heading home.

Now I’m back. I feel better now and I think I’m ready to be a responsible adult again. I’m actually looking forward to it. My oldest is off to start seventh grade and my youngest is working on Spelling. I’m thinking about making cookies. My garden needs to be weeded and MyHusband isn’t working late tonight. Things are good. I’m feeling happy and I had great summer. Hope you had a great summer too. Bring on the fall!

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