Honey, We Need to Talk
My Dearest Husband,
I am writing to you today to let you know that we may have to become a lesbian couple. I know what you are thinking but hear me out.
The all mighty Michael Pearl, grand poo-bah of all that is right and good and supreme ruler of homeschoolers was recently interviewed and according to him only lesbians protest his methods of disciplining children. I have given it some thought and realized we only have two choices.
- Start hitting our children with plastic tubing and yanking the hair of nursing babies.
- Become lesbians so we can object.
I thought about it and I find beating (aka spanking or chastising) my children into submission or pulling the hair of innocent infants vile, repulsive, repugnant, disgusting…Well, I’m in a hurry but you can get the thesaurus and add a few more adjectives.
The only other option is to become lesbians. I know this may take some getting use to. I’m sure we can make this adjustment with the love and patient understanding we have always had for each other. I’ll see you when you get home. I’m running out for a burn permit so I can burn my bras and some nice stationery to write up our gay agenda.
Love you,
Filed under Too Much Caffeine? |11 Responses to “Honey, We Need to Talk”
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Spanking is for grown-up girls, I always say.
Are you planning on posting pictures?
Just wondering.
Amelia, if you’re an adult and can say no, I have no problems. Pearl’s crap makes me nauseous.
Dan, do you want lesbian pictures, spanking pictures, or lesbian spanking pictures?
You don’t have to burn your bra to be a lesbian. You should go lipstick.
Whit, Good point. Good thing there is a two week waiting period for bra burning permits. Things could have gotten ugly. Thank you.
LOL this gave me a good giggle. Pearl is a loser.
Corey, I’m glad I made you giggle. I agree but with a capital L.
Well, I don’t know how I’ll break it to my husband, but I guess we’re Lesbians too. Does that mean I have to share my closet with him?
To tell you the truth, I’m not to keen on the pediatricians who think that time-outs are okay either. We manage to get along in our family without any of that.
Shine On,
Lill
Lill, no you don’t have to share a closet. You come out of it.
I think for me, it boils down to respect. That includes respecting your children.
I dig chicks, can I be a lesbian, too?
I thought you were a lesbian! WTF?