I Figured out the Secret
It was a new bra and it needed to be tested. Worse yet it was a sexy bra and those are the worst. Those of us with ample bosoms understand what I’m talking about. My trusty bras were all in the wash and we were going to the berry patch. That involves reaching and bending. Reaching and bending can lead to a mishap that is sometimes called a wardrobe malfunction. If you’ve ever had this problem you know it’s not a good thing. An improperly fitted bra can give out on you when you least expect it. You could fall through the bottom, slip out the side, or worse yet the full single booby pop out of the top. There is not much worse than having to stuff your right breast back into position while trying to act nonchalant. It even worse when you have berry juice on your hands. I just didn’t want to go there. So, I decided to test it.
Standing in front of the mirror I started with a little light bouncing. All seemed well but I’ve been fooled before. I did the trusty side to side shoulder shake. There was considerable movement but no side poppage. I was feeling a little more confident in my bra choice when I grabbed the shoulder straps and wiggled them up and down. No leakage from the bottom. This was a good bra. I was very excited about my new bra and I was all hopped up on caffeine. It was time for the final test, the Flash Dance test. Oh what a feeling! You never know when you’ll suddenly be caught in a musical and it’s good to be prepared. Thats when I looked up and noticed MyHusband standing in the doorway with a peculiar look on his face.
“I’m…uhh…testing my bra. I’m testing my bra!”
He told me I didn’t need to stop.
I was a little embarrassed and decided to hug him. That’s when I noticed it. If you are or are married to a man over the age of 35 there are certain things that aren’t as spontaneous as they use to be especially if you’ve been spontaneous in the last 12 hours. With age come patience. Lets just say there wasn’t a need for patience.
“What the heck. Do you think you’re a 20yo or something?” I asked.
“Apparently,” he said.
Finally, after all these years, I figured out Victoria’s secret. It was well worth the wait.
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Well, you gotta admit–Jennifer Beals is a pretty good go to move. (For those of us over 35.)
Ed (zoesdad)s last blog post..Good Thing She Didn’t Give Them a Plant
I was impressed. Not sure if it would work during playoffs but I might try it.
Would it be annoying if I asked who Jennifer Beals is?
Good bras and good men are hard to find. Hard men are good to find but hard bras break the sequence because they are rubbish.
No. It takes more than a question to irritate me. Unless it’s a hippie question then I might get a little annoyed. :) She was the star in the movie Flashdance that was a hit in the early 80′s. It was kinda like porn for guys that were teenagers back then. Didn’t have the internet yah know. They use to play racey clips from the movie on MTV.
hahahahaha! good post!
i haven’t found my “good sexy bra!” and sick and tired of trying on that lace-y sexy stuff that only fit a quartre of me boob!-if i get one that finally fits, it don’t look sexy no more-it looks like a bullet proof vest…and most bras nowadays are padded! my size don’t need any more padding!
so i’m stuck with my sports bra……booh!
Yeah, what’s up with the padding? I already have plenty of natural padding, I don’t need extra!