To the tune of Star Spangled Banner but for no apparent reason change to Away in the Manger in verse two; then I’m not sure what happens.
Ohh say I can see the bottom of the laundry pile.
My empty sink is making me smile.
The kids are all taught and the dogs have been fed.
I might even go make my bed.
I can make bread and I can make cheese
I can read a book, whatever I please.
Except I can’t ‘cuss’ and I can’t write about sex.
Because homeschool blog award will take offense.
Don’t look at my art
There might be a breast
I think my tomato post
Might not pass the test.
I’ll be disqualified if I make you think.
I’ll have to leave if I want to drink.
If I write about love it better be of God
If I want to impress I have to be a snob.
So please stay with me while I type out my list.
I am very busy I’ll tell you about this.
If you get bored then that is too bad.
I’ll follow the rules. I don’t want to make them mad.
*** Insert needle being dragged across record sound here ***
Sorry about that. I went temporarily insane after reading the rules and regulations for entry into the homeschool blog awards.
Last time I checked the people who homeschool their children are supposed to be adults. Adults are capable of reading many different views and opinions without compromising their own beliefs. Adults are capable of reading a few four-letter words without being overcome by Satan. Adults can make up their own minds about what they choose to read. They can vote or not vote for a blog as they choose. They can decide for themselves if a blogger is ‘mean’. Unless some fussbudget with a personal agenda chooses to disqualify blogs based on their own narrow-minded view of purity and correctness. Then I think maybe you are running a contest for pre-schoolers.
Change the name. I’m a homeschooler and your awards don’t represent me or any of the other homeschool blogs I read.
Sing it with me! To the tune of Teletubbies:
Homeschool Blog Awards.
Homeschool Blog Awards.
Bible Thumpers, Ditsy, Blah Blah, Poo!
Amen! Amen!
Holy Cow, Satan is after me again. Run!
This post was approved by my husband as all posts by godly women should be. Now, where’s my plumbing supply line. My kids are getting on my nerves.
November 8th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
It gets better. They have “cleansed” the awards page by deleting all the comments with no notice.
November 9th, 2007 at 2:32 am
Hmmmm… I won the Best Homeschool Dad Blog award last year.
It was okay publicity, but really didn’t do much for gaining long-term readers. That was my ulterior motive for wanting to win the thing. Yes, ever since I put pageview-based ads on my blog I’ve become obsessed with increasing my readership!
Anyway, the prizes I won were mostly all useless. I am not like most of the other homeschoolers. We don’t follow a religious-based curriculum, and that’s what all of the prizes were about.
So, the prizes sucked. The publicity was nil. I guess I don’t care about it this year. Maybe I’ll just give myself a prize. Can we do that? I’ll design a nice badge for myself and display it prominently on my blog.
November 9th, 2007 at 4:53 am
It’s okay if your husband doesn’t approve your posts, as long as he chastises you afterwards with the plumbing supply line.
You can still win that way.
November 9th, 2007 at 11:41 am
COD - That amuses me but doesn’t surprise me. I’ve seen it happen before on other issues. The fundy mentality doesn’t hold up well to a challenge. They show their true colors then delete everything and pretend it never happened.
Phil - I voted for you last year. Before they decided to start excluding people they didn’t like. I won’t vote for anyone this year. It amazes me how much bigotry is involved in being a fundy.
Hell yeah you can make your own award. You can give me one if yah want. :)
Amelia - You naughty girl! I will be sending some plumbing supply line to your husband. I think he needs to put it to good use.
November 9th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
I think I came in 2nd last year to Phil for best homeschool dad blogger. I never even mentioned it on my own site though.
November 9th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I don’t think I ever went back to see who won. I was too busy checking out the blog award winners at O’Donnell Web. Those were some good blogs.
…I’m not saying that because I was on the list.
Are you going to do it again this year?
November 9th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Yeah, I’ve had several requests, so some evening when I’m suitably intoxicated I’ll do it again.
November 9th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
Great! If you want a new award button let me know. I could get suitable intoxicated and make one for yah.
November 10th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
TELETUBBIES!!!!??? et tu, imp?! *shoves knife in back*
November 12th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Mamazilla - So sorry! Please forgive me. My mind was possessed by the evil! I will repent and never allow the Teletubbies into my blog again.
December 9th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
I was surprised by quite a few things when reading through the rules.
What *really* got me was that three of the team members are family (mother and 2 daughters).
And you could nominate yourself and have two others nominate you for a total of three required votes to be a nominee. And they were nominated all over the place.
Coincidence? Hmmm….
So they all excused themselves but at least one was obnoxious about it:
“It seems that some people just can’t stand that the best bloggers in the blogosphere not only head up the HSBA, but were also in the running for the awards.”
“This year, they were set up differently, and I have a bigger readership and am a better blogger. There was a very high possibility that I could have won this year. It would have been really nice to won the title of whatever category I was in.”
http://www.homeschoolblogger.c.....el/440253/
Oh yeah. Gracious.
And if it’s just a matter of being young, fine. Then that person is too young to be on the team. Can’t have it both ways. Or shouldn’t….
So they’re all pushing for the baby of the family (literally) to win. The baby is less than a year old for crying out loud. That’s one of the “best bloggers in the blogosphere”?
And one of them (the daughters) had an anti-catholic thing on their blog and it’s mysteriously gone now.
I’ll go back in my corner now….