I Should have Posted This on Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving.  At some point in time someone decided I needed to take a day in November to eat turkey and be thankful.  I do it because it’s traditional and all but really, WTF?!  Maybe I’m just a tad bit obstinate but I think Mr. Guy Who Made up This Holiday needs to mind his own business.  I’ll explain.

A few days ago I was very happy and thankful because my daughters were snuggled in bed beside me and life was good.  We slept in late and had a fun day.  Today I had to get up early, stick my hand up the cold dead ass of a turkey and then mopped up salmonella infected pools of red tinged turkey juice.  I wasn’t feeling the thankful.  I was feeling nauseous.

It’s a beautiful day out side.  Just the kind of day that is made for a long hike through the woods.  A day to enjoy the beautiful yellows and reds of the last fall leaves.  I’m enjoying the red of solidified cranberry juice.  It is perfectly molded to the shape of the can.  And the yellow of egg yolks mashed with mayonnaise and pickle cubes, I can’t complain about those, they taste pretty good.  I make good deviled eggs.  It’s a gift.

So Thanksgiving man, You can bite me.  If I want to feast on the decaying carcass of a domesticated bird, I’ll eat it sliced from the deli and I’ll be thankful!  Thank you very much.