My little black dress “shrank in the wash”
I looked like a sausage.
I had nothing to wear.
No problem I have a platinum card

What the…
What the…
What the Fuck!

The rack is blinding me
Glitter and sparkles
70% off but DAMN!
I can’t wear that.

Nothing here
Shit, nothing there either
We’re going to be late
Run to the car one more stop

Sweet mother of god
That shirt will do
Until….

“Hey sis, your boobs are hangin’ out”

What the…
What the…
What the fucking hell!

Old men circle
I am pretty they say
I’ve never been more popular
The priest stuttered through ecclesiastes
I shouldn’t have bent over.

I think maybe,
Wives are getting laid tonight
A pix message was sent to MyHusband
“Nice rack!” He texted back

At least it’s over
I can rest
I am happy
It all worked out
And I found a new place to stick my ipod

Nice Rack!

8 Responses to “I’m Probably Going to Hell :)”

  1. At least you get to listen to good music on the way down…:):)

  2. This is your best post ever.

    Is that an iPhone or a nano?

  3. This is quite a victory for Rattling! You showed him your rack. :)

  4. Oh my goodness, you can enlarge it, too.

  5. Robert Bourne - Nothing like good music on the way down.

    Whit - I’m glad you liked my poetry. I’ll put a penny in as a size reference next time.

    Amelia - He just laughed at me. That enlarging feature is kinda good huh? I bet men wish that worked in real life. :)

  6. This was an incredibly entertaining post. Very well written, too.

    Haha!

  7. Josh - Looks like I’ll have some company! :)

  8. Indeed!

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