Lightly Powder Scented
I have this shirt. It’s a good shirt. It’s the most comfortable shirt ever made by man, or beast, or more likely machine. I’ve had it since I pregnant but I don’t remember with which child. So, it’s between 9 and 12 years old. It’s a size 2XL mens (100% cotton…pre-shrunk!) and I bought it because I thought I was so big it would be the only thing to fit me by the time I gave birth. Thankfully, I didn’t get that big.
It is more of smock than anything. The arms are so big that they hang down like wings. This is a handy feature. When it gets hot I flap them and make a cooling breeze. It’s a nice breeze with a light powder fresh scent, unless I forgot to put on my deodorant.
My shirt is supposed to be a light bluish-gray color but it has some white paint spatters from when I painted the trim and some green from when I painted something green. There is also a spaghetti sauce spot on the right breast area from spaghetti sauce. I feel this adds to the charm.
When I wear this shirt it is a form of creative expression. It speaks for me. It communicates an important message between me and MyHusband. He sees me in my shirt and he knows it’s saying, “Hey, why don’t you go and pretend your doing something important in the garage before your wife makes the next few hours of your life a living hell.” Non-verbal communication is important in a marriage.
My shirt has been there for me through hormonal outbursts, exhausted tirades, and dually evacuating stomach flues. It’s a true friend. I know this shirt so well it’s like I can wear it any time I want. You just don’t have many human friends like that.
Today I went to put it on. It was waiting for me in the bottom of my bottom drawer. I stripped down and pulled the comforting goodness over my head. I went to flap my wings when I heard a strange sound. A moan, maybe more of crackle. I examined it closely and everything appeared fine. Then I pulled gently on the shoulder seam. It moaned again. After a few minutes of stunned silence I realized the truth, my friend was dry rotting. I checked the Internet but there was no treatment. I made a few panicked calls to a clothing specialist (my mom) but the answers were all the same. There was nothing I could do but wait for the end.
It’s a sad, sad day around the ImPerceptible household, but don’t worry about me. I’m strong and I’ll be fine. Life will go on. It just won’t be as comfortable and it will no longer contain a lightly powder scented breeze. I’ll adjust.
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I understand. I own a hideous garment bought in a true on-the-road clothing emergency, of the monthly nature. Said garment has lived on and is now known round these parts as the ‘f*ck off overalls.’
You’ll have to find something equally hideous and comforting to replace your shirt. Not that it will be the same. Sigh.
I had a favorite shirt die on me once. It was such a traumatic experience that I now only dress in aluminum due to it’s long lasting sturdy nature.
It’s the way of the future you know.
Amelia – No, it won’t be the same. Yet, I must move forward and get on with my life. I’m too young to just stop living.
Oh, I have a similar pair of overalls but I call them my fuck me overalls. Kinda the same, but different. :)
Dan – You are a resourceful and forward thinking man. Did you know that the foil will also keep out the dangerous gamma rays shot from the moon base on Mars and the Venusians have a harder time controlling your thoughts if you save a small piece and wear it as a hat.
I am sad for you as I, too have known such a loss. My garments, however, never spoke for me–unless the implied, “leave me alone, I like it and it’s comfortable” count as speaking for me.
Have you tried duct tape?
Whits last blog post..Parts is Parts- Now with Chagware!
Ed – Thank you for your support. I knew you’d understand. I have some tie dye stuff if you want to make a new garment for yourself.
Whit – To repair the shirt or as a replacement for the shirt?
It’s summer; just go naked.
Rattling the Kettles last blog post..Hillary Will Never Give Up. Ever.
RTK – OK!
What the hell. What’s up with the semi-colon usuage. We do not use semi-colons around here! You either fully commit and go full colon or you stick with a comma. I’m not having any of that semi shit!