Like Oil and Water
There is something you guys don’t know about me. I feel I need to get this off my chest. So I’m going to come right out and say it. I have problems with hippies. Don’t get me wrong, I like hippies. I appreciate the long hair and flowing skirts. I like the bright rainbow colored art and drum music. I can even tolerate a tambourine or two. The hippies and I always start out well. We share vegetarianism and organic gardening. We believe in human rights, comfortable shoes, and (in theory) free love. We can share stories of a hand-rolled masterpiece that was purchased from a Jamaican guy, by a former roommate, at a Grateful Dead concert. Yes, It changed my life as well. Then I make an innocent comment like, ‘Hey, Wal-Mart has disposable razors on sale for half off.’ and that’s when things turn ugly. Mentioning the two for one deal on deodorant usually does me in. The next thing I know, I’m rocking gently in the corner and sucking my thumb. They leave in a vapid patchouli scented cloud, off to molest their next unsuspecting victim. It ain’t pretty. It’s a problem. Like oil and water, we just don’t mix. I’m not sure if I’m the oil or the water. Maybe I’m the vinegar. Or the seasoning. Maybe I should go and make some salad dressing. My homegrown, organic, non-GMO, heirloom lettuce is about ready to pick. I’m going to store it in a plastic bag.
Filed under Too Much Caffeine? |5 Responses to “Like Oil and Water”
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If Wal-Mart had hand rolled masterpieces for half off they’d probably be there quick smart. :)
Hippies are okay as long as you don’t discuss politics with them. I once had a fight with a hippy protesting at my university. His sign said ‘Education should be FREE!’ and I said So you mean it should be 100% funded by the taxpayer, and said No, it should just be free. So I said Well, who would pay for the building maintenance and the supplies and the salaries for the staff? And he said No one, it should just all be free. A lot of something smoked by that dude, methinks.
Excellent point! :)
I guess everything including volunteer teachers just magically appear from thin air. That must be good stuff. Education is a commodity, just like everything else.
I’m at odds with the hippies myself right now. I want a local Wal-Mart, but they’re all crying about the evils of big business. I’m probably just really insane, though. I mean, I live in Vermont. Why fight the hippies? I should probably just move…near a Wal-Mart. Are those razors still on sale?
Patchouli stinks.
Beloved - We had the same here with everyone saying they wouldn’t shop there. Then they built it and now the parking lot is full all the time. There was also a big deal about building a McDonalds across the street from a historic location. They finally agreed to allow it if they made it blend in with the area. Not too long after opening they re-did the whole location. Apparently remodeling wasn’t restricted in the agreement.
Whit - I agree.