Early in our relationship my husband told me he didn’t like vegetables. Being young and naive I thought that meant he didn’t like the way I fixed vegetables. To solve the problem, I decided to do a Veronica/Gopher search with the search phrase “Vegetable Recipes”. If you enter that into Google in 2007 you’ll get almost a million results. I’m guessing most of them are links to on-line cookbooks. In 1992 I got about 12. One of them was titled “Debbie Does Vegetables”
How about that, I thought. Here is a woman that created a file about vegetables and various tasty ways to prepare them. She must be a very dedicated woman. I clicked on the title to download the file.
My 2400-baud modem downloaded the file in lightening fast time. Well, lightening fast considering I had just upgraded from a 1200-baud modem. A modem I literally got out of a trash dumpster. I watched as the images started to open up on my screen.
It started out innocent enough. The head of a smiling and somewhat attractive woman appeared on the screen. As the lines of the jpg started to fill in, my eyes popped wide open.
“Oh my God! MyHusband, you gotta get in here and see this!” I screeched in a high pitched voice.
He came in quickly thinking I had found a new version of Lemmings to play. We spent way too much time running Lemming off a cliff back then. Or maybe he was worried that I had found his “secret” stash of naked boobie pictures. Either way he got there quickly.
He was shocked to find me sitting in front of the monitor with images of Debbie “doing” vegetables. I’m not talking about your run of the mill cucumber or zucchini. That woman had a whole tossed salad going on in there.
“Is there something you want to tell me?” he cautiously asked.
“I was searching for vegetable recipes and found this”, I said incredulously. He looked relieved. We had a good laugh.
It was almost six weeks before I stopped blushing every time I entered the produce department at the local grocery. Maybe a bit longer before I could hold a cucumber and look the produce manager in the eye. Vegetables aren’t something I’m into. They did make me curious about what else was out there. Since then I’ve found a few things I did want tell my husband. He hasn’t had any complaints.
So, there you have it. My first taste of Internet porn. Anyone else dare to tell about yours?
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