I was sprinkling green Christmas trees on top of my meringue cookies as I listened to the story.
“They have their ass on their shoulders” was the statement. I wasn’t sure what that meant. I assumed in the heat of passion the phrases ‘head up their ass’ and ‘chip on their shoulder’ combined in a way that had never before been uttered. That’s how language evolves.
The shouldered asses had called the day before. I was told about the problem and informed that someone had a stick up their butt. I figured the butt sticks would call me eventually. So I waited, and today the call came.
I informed the butt sticks that the shouldered asses did want them to spend Christmas with them. Actually, the last time we talked they were looking forward to it. In fact, they would probably be terribly hurt and angry if the butt stick presence was missing from the holiday gathering.
There was disbelief. There was denial. There was a no way in hell we’re staying at nannies house. I repeated myself five or six times. I wasn’t sure if it sank in. The butt sticks are very stubborn people.
A few hours later the phone rang and happier voices greeted me. Everything was fine and dandy. For now. There are still a few more siblings and in-laws to go. We’ll see.
I pulled the meringues out of the oven. They looked great. Until I realized the green Christmas trees sprinkles were not Christmas trees. They were Shamrocks. Christmas green shamrocks! I now understood why they were on the 75% off discount rack. But I was not discouraged.
We’re having an Irish Christmas this year I informed my family. They could tell by the look in my eye this was not a time to argue.
December 9th, 2007 at 11:25 am
Put one more bottle on either side, and you’ve got yourself a liquor menorah.
December 9th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
That is an excellent point! Now that’s a holiday celebration I would embrace whole-heartedly. The symbol for the holiday could be the pink elephant. And the traditional costume could be a lamp shade. And… I need to stop now.
December 10th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
somewhere there’s an irish person really upset by this stereotype…
me? i just saw the booze and was drawn here as if by magic…
December 11th, 2007 at 12:45 am
Re: Rattling the Kettle’s comment
Except this menorah lights you.
That’s how I celebrate every holiday.
December 12th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Ah…the Irish Christmas… a time for the nose to be aglow and the tie to be askew…I think making rum balls for the season might be putting too many steps into the holiday process. I suppose for the Irish Christmas…it would be…Step one…open the bottle. Step two…pour into the glass…Step three…throw it back…Step four…repeat until you’re ready to regale the crowd with tales of Christmases past with Grandfahr in the old country.
I’m Irish, but traditions like that beat the crap out of me long ago. Since then, I’ve stuck with cookies and hot chocolate. You guys can enjoy the Irish Menorah…I’ll be in bed, sleeping, and waking up to hand out presents to the urchins with a clear head…
Cheers…
December 13th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
A portion of my family tree is Irish as well. I think we may have had a few Irish Menorahs when I was growing up. I do know there were plenty of people that got lit.
Cheers!