ImPerceptibility

Posts Tagged ‘Bloggers’

I don’t, for even one minute, doubt that there is a single person I spent six days of my life walking across England with that I would not enjoy spending time with. Everyone was interesting, unique and entertaining. They all had good hearts and a wonderful sense of adventure. However, I don’t think I picked the right venue to get to know them. Maybe a picnic at the park, a dinner at a favorite restaurant, or a short stroll through the mountains in the fall would have been a better option. I didn’t have those options available so I took what I could get. I did the best I could and I only half regret my choices. Maybe as time passes I won’t regret them at all. Maybe. We’ll see. I hope.

We were on the right train but going in the wrong direction. It was a circle loop so we would get there, we just weren’t going to be on time. My anxiety about being late was building but held in check with light conversation and a little silliness from a fellow walker we met as we entered the train station. Oli had tired eyes with occasional and cautious sparks of mischief that made me smile even though I was exhausted from our 30+ hour pilgrimage to New Castle and short nights sleep. I was happy that I could mostly understand him in spite of his accent and was bursting with excitement by the time the train pulled into the Wallsend station. I couldn’t wait to meet everyone.

The first thing I saw was the tie dyed shirt. “Ed,” I told MyHusband. Ed was exactly how I imagined him. Warm and kind with a big smile that made me feel right at home. A little bit of the anxiety that had been building for the last few month started to ease. I hugged Phil and was surprised at his height. I had imagined him a little shorter and I was happy he didn’t have a mountain man beard.  JJDaddyo was there and seemed a little shy but I could tell he’d be a lot of fun once we got to know each other. I shook hands with Dan and realized that Yes, girls, we were right. He is a very sexy man. Also very sweaty but that kinda adds to the experience. Before I knew what was happening we were off and walking. I figured I’d get to know everyone else along the way. I was wrong.

MyHusband and I stopped to take a picture of the sign at the start of the walk and when we looked back up most of the group was gone! I looked left. I looked right. No one! “WTF?” I mouthed to MyHusband. “I don’t know,” he mouthed back. He pulled out his map and confirmed we were on the right path and we had not been abducted and replanted by aliens, then we walked on.

Throughout the day we occasionally had a walker spotting. There were a few congregating around the pay toilet. Some stopped on a hill for lunch and we joined them briefly. We were happy when we had a few people to walk with but MyHusband had to “commune with nature” and by the time he finished we were alone again.

“Hey, we’ll just walk at our own pace and enjoy ourself” MyHusband told me when he saw the disappointment on my face. He held my hand tightly and I felt strong. Then we walked on.

We eventually caught up with another couple and walked with them for awhile. They were adorable and they made us smile. They also explained kissing gates which came in handy the next day even if I didn’t bring my chapstick.

We finally got close to the end and then we walked straight uphill for about a mile, got lost, had an old man with an even older dog walk us back to the right path, then arrived exhausted, sweaty, and smelly at the bunk barn. All I could do was sit at the table with my head in my hands and question my sanity. But, as you know I am very good at denial and I thought everything would turn out well. I was sure of it. We headed out for dinner.

We had a good dinner if you’re a carnivore. MyHusband was in heaven. I ate three types of root vegetables and something purple that I was assured didn’t contain animals. I’m still not convinced. Once we finished we asked about transportation to the B&B that we had been assigned to for the night. That’s when we were told to make our own arrangements. So we did.

After a cab ride that ended up being much longer than it should have been we arrived at the B&B to be greeted by a inhospitable, sour faced man that demanded we take off our shoes. Then he gave us our room number, pointed his finger and said, “Now, up with you” Up I went! My dream of insane B&B owners was starting to play out before my eyes. I double checked the locks and put a chair in front of the door. I also checked the windows for the quickest way to escape in case of emergency. Then I took a long hot bath and snuggled up with MyHusband. I felt relaxed and good for the first time in what seemed like days. Then the noise started.

I got out of bed and went to the window. There was some type of industrial noise going on somewhere. Maybe someone was cutting the grass? Weed whacking? Insane B&B owner sharpening his chain saw? I wasn’t sure, then it became clear. Someone in the next room was snoring. And snore they did. Loud and proud, all night long!

All I could think was that the next day was even longer than the first and I would be doing it without any sleep. I sat quietly against the wall for awhile. Trying to make myself calm, trying to convince myself that everything would be fine. I mostly convinced myself. I am very good at denial. Then I laid down in bed and cried quietly into my pillow. I didn’t want MyHusband to know I was sad but somehow he figured it out. He snuggled me up safe and warm against him and we laid there awake waiting for the sun to come up so we could head out for day number two.

I’m back from a vacation at the beach. I ate tomato sandwiches, built sandcastles, waited for sea turtles to hatch, and was almost sacrificed to the sea. It’s good to be back but then again it’s not. I missed you guys but not really. My sunburn hurts but not too much.

It’s taking some time to get caught up with laundry, gardening, having sex, and reading your wonderful posts. Due to my remarkable speed-reading skills, I’ve caught up with a few blogs and I was wondering, What the hell is going on? I leave you guys alone for one week and you guys go out of control. Why don’t you do that when I’m here to enjoy it?

I mean really, I open up my reader and I find that:

Mamazilla has either run off with Johnny Depp or the Cicadas got her and flew her to OZ. Click your heels together, Mamazilla. Click your heels!

Beloved bought some leather and a bike. No one has heard from her since but I hear there are rumors and pictures circulating.

Whit’s wife is out of town and he is writing about oral sex and masturbating in a stream with barking dogs.

RTK was giving samples of his urine to women but they weren’t interested because it was red and contained anchovies.

Anthony is probably dead and currently being consumed by his cat.

Frowning Bill is currently unable to update his comics because Crystal has him tied up in a closet until he promises to stop burning the lawn furniture. Unfortunately he likes it, so it might be awhile before he posts again.

Chris is riding packhorses around National parks and looking for Rubies while using his ADD to throw marshmallows at Michael Phelps.

Lady Banana is having a gender identity crisis. My opinion, stick with Lady. Sir Banana sounds a little odd.

Dan stopped complaining about me giving him blisters and is booking a flight so I can take him on a real walk and, teach him, how to, use commas. He’ll be here once he fulfills his duties and kicks some blogger ass. I’m not sure whose.

An episode of Strange Love went terrible wrong and Cami is currently remote blogging until they can figure out how to get her untangled and down from there.

Ed got a call when he was in New Orleans and is now giving away his kid.

Amelia has joined the Mormon Church and might be moving to Utah once she stops kicking me in the ribs.

Dawn is fighting a terrible addiction and loosing. Step away from the curriculum, Dawn. Step away!

Phil is showing off his legs and playing with floating tree branches because it’s cool.

Bill is throwing up after he partied with the twins but he at least remembered to wrap it up.

Okay, that’s as far as I’ve gotten. I think I’ve gotten everything straight. My speed-reading skills are amazing aren’t they? Did I miss anything?