ImPerceptibility

Posts Tagged ‘flash dance’

It was a new bra and it needed to be tested. Worse yet it was a sexy bra and those are the worst. Those of us with ample bosoms understand what I’m talking about. My trusty bras were all in the wash and we were going to the berry patch. That involves reaching and bending. Reaching and bending can lead to a mishap that is sometimes called a wardrobe malfunction. If you’ve ever had this problem you know it’s not a good thing. An improperly fitted bra can give out on you when you least expect it. You could fall through the bottom, slip out the side, or worse yet the full single booby pop out of the top. There is not much worse than having to stuff your right breast back into position while trying to act nonchalant. It even worse when you have berry juice on your hands. I just didn’t want to go there. So, I decided to test it.

Standing in front of the mirror I started with a little light bouncing. All seemed well but I’ve been fooled before. I did the trusty side to side shoulder shake. There was considerable movement but no side poppage. I was feeling a little more confident in my bra choice when I grabbed the shoulder straps and wiggled them up and down. No leakage from the bottom. This was a good bra. I was very excited about my new bra and I was all hopped up on caffeine. It was time for the final test, the Flash Dance test. Oh what a feeling! You never know when you’ll suddenly be caught in a musical and it’s good to be prepared. Thats when I looked up and noticed MyHusband standing in the doorway with a peculiar look on his face.

“I’m…uhh…testing my bra. I’m testing my bra!”

He told me I didn’t need to stop.

I was a little embarrassed and decided to hug him. That’s when I noticed it. If you are or are married to a man over the age of 35 there are certain things that aren’t as spontaneous as they use to be especially if you’ve been spontaneous in the last 12 hours. With age come patience. Lets just say there wasn’t a need for patience.

“What the heck. Do you think you’re a 20yo or something?” I asked.

“Apparently,” he said.

Finally, after all these years, I figured out Victoria’s secret. It was well worth the wait.