ImPerceptibility

Posts Tagged ‘Miss Brandie’

[This was the post where Miss Brandie Learned about tags. She would eventually have an extemely long column of tags down the side of her page. Someone even mentioned it to her and she told them they were a good boy to try and help her out then ignored his suggestion.]

December 6, 2006
Telling you about The Christmas Spirit

Dear Reader,

It’s nice to have you back. I know I said I was going to talk about profanity today, but I’m not. It’s my blog and I can talk about whatever I want, so stop complaining. It’s getting close to Christmas and I’ve decided a little bit about Jesus would be good. Now don’t stop reading now. It’s for your own good. I wouldn’t have to be doing this if you had a little common sense.

Last year we were in church on Christmas Eve, like we were supposed to be, and it was a good service. We had a new preacher and he was trying his best to impress us. If you have a bad Christmas service it can ruin your whole reputation. That’s the only time most people actually get to see your service. You don’t get to try again until Easter. I was happy for the preacher. He was doing good. It got to be time for Holy Communion and he was fixing up the wine. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he sneezed. Right into the silver goblet. I sit up front and I believe I might have heard a small splash. My hearing isn’t what it use to be though.

Now, since it was Christmas, the church was packed and he had made a lot of wine into Christs blood. He wanted to make sure everyone could have a some. Thats his job! I think you can understand why not too many people went up there for a drink. I can’t say I blame them. The problem was, there was a lot left over that no one drank. Now you know damn well you can’t just pour that stuff out. It’s sacred for god’s sake!

The preacher did his best to get it down. You could tell that stuff was extra holy because he started turning all red and smiling. He handed the goblet off to the altar boy and the same thing started to happen to him. They were passing the goblet around the altar and I was thinking, “Why don’t they just give it to Deacon Joe?” We all know he’s a drunk. He could get rid of that stuff in no time flat. He would appreciate it too. But that didn’t happen. They finally managed to finish it off.

Anyways, that new preacher finished up the service and I tell you, he was filled with the spirit of Christmas. Christ himself would have been proud. I’ve never seen such a spirit filled preacher in my life. Unless I mention the time I went to get Mr. Brandie out of the bar and ran into Father Mike. But, of course, I’m not going to mention that. All I got to say is it was a good service. A real good service. I hope you understand a little more about the Christmas Spirit now. God Bless you.

Thanks for stopping by and I’ll be back next week. I don’t know what I’m going to be telling you about but it might be about profanity.

Sincerely,
Miss Brandie

As part of my end of the year simplify my life plan. (I just made that up) I’ve decided to move posts from my other blogs here.  There’s really no reason to have so many accounts and e-mails.  I’m starting with Miss Brandie. 

Miss Brandie was a 80-90 yo southern woman.  I created her in bits and pieces from all the crazy old ladies that I grew up with.  The pieces from most of her stories are true, though they are taken from many different people and put together however the hell I felt like putting them together. 

She never left a comment on another blog, never  joined a single social network, or worried about SEO.  Heck, she didn’t even know about those things. But, in her prime, she had more readers than this blog. I think that makes a point but I’ll let you figure that out for yourself .  Unfortunately, I think Miss Brandie must have died because I haven’t heard from her since July 2007.  So, I closed up her blog and moved on.  What else can you do?

Her blog was call, I’m Telling You and this was her tag line: