ImPerceptibility

Posts Tagged ‘poisoning’

I tried making English Muffins today but when they were done there were no nooks and crannies. I wasn’t sure why they weren’t there and I was very alarmed. I sent a distress e-mail to the queen but I haven’t heard back yet. You’d think she’d be more concerned. As far as I know those English people take their nooks and crannies very seriously. If this spreads there could big problems. Maybe she’s still pissed about that ”revolution” thing  we had awhile back. I wonder why there is a guy in a funny hat outside my door.

When in the courfe of human events it becomes neceffary for one people to diffolve...

Last night I decided if I were to be a revolutionary I’d be more of a Thomas Jefferson than a John Adams. Except I wouldn’t have slaves and I wouldn’t chase away the Indians. I would also use S’s where they belong instead of F’s when I printed my declaration, but that’s just me. I mean seriously, why didn’t the freakin’ printers just make more S’s? Common sense tells you if you don’t have a S but have way to many F’s then you need to order more S’s. It’s not that hard people.

Maybe they had mercury poisoning. I think a lot of things that happened in history are the direct result of mercury poisoning. Either that or syphilis. That would explain a lot. Don’tcha think?

Good news. The second batch of muffins appear to have nooks and quite possibly crannies. Life is good. Where’s my apple butter?