Warning: Don’t be a Responsible Parent!

There I said it. I know what you are thinking but you are misguided. You should NOT be a responsible parent. Why? Because you will raise responsible children.

The problem with raising responsible children is they actually return from playing next door. Before dinner. Just like you told them. They might even come home twenty minutes before dinner so they can help you set the table. That’s just wrong.

It’s wrong because you may have planned on using those twenty minutes to finish up some extra-curricular activities. You know, the kind that involves your spouse and lewd comments about appetizers. Activities you thought about to get you through your day even though you had a house full of seven screaming kids hopped up on Easter candy. The very activities you had planned down to the scantily clothed opening line of “So Honey, what do you want for dinner tonight?”

I know there are parents out there with young children and I hope you heed my warning before it is too late. Stop being responsible right now. There is nothing worse than biting into your favorite appetizer and spitting it out before you have the chance to enjoy its satisfying goodness. Also, getting your appetizers covered in the time it takes a nine-year old and her best friend to burst through the front door, up the stairs, and down the hall is do-able, but you may pull a hamstring. It’s not real good for your heart either.

You have been warned!

My husband though it was a good idea to leave this by my plate at dinner. To make up for the lack of appetizers.  He is lucky I think he’s cute when he’s grinning like that.