A short while ago I told you about an incident at the Olive Garden. It involved my daughter, a seven-year-old sense of humor, and the cocked leg of a stuffed dog toy. I also told you about the tendency of parents and children to embarrass each other. I haven’t told you about last night, yet.
The kids went to a sleepover with friends and we decided to grab a quick bite to eat without our lovely children. We knew it wouldn’t be the same without them but we decided to try and enjoy ourselves. (No, I didn’t write that with a straight face) The Olive Garden seemed like a good choice. A quick dinner and the opportunity to carbo-load for the activities we had planned for later. We were enjoying pretending to be a couple instead of a couple of parents when my husband told me about a trip he was taking in August.
For the record, I’m cute, not sexy. When you are cute you really have to work to even approach sexy. I decided to work it.
“Maybe Mom can watch the kids for a few days.” I said somewhat suggestively.
Then I leaned back with my best porn star pose appropriate for a family restaurant and as sexily as possible whispered, “We can have wild crazy hotel sex.”
My husbands eyes looked more amused than interested. That’s when I realized the waiter was standing directly behind me. When I leaned back he thought I was going to tell him something and he leaned forward. Unlike my husband, he looked more interested than amused.
The moral of the story? No matter how bad our children embarrass us, we can do a better job all by ourselves.
July 17th, 2007 at 10:12 am
HIL.AR.I.OUS. :-D
July 17th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
That’s probably the best tip he ever had.
July 17th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
y’know… somewhere out there, a young’n is blogging about the “milf” he waited on at the olive garden…
*insert waka-oom waka-oom porn music here*
and what’s up with NOT posting a picture of the “best porn star pose appropriate for a family restaurant “? don’t leave us hanging… that’s just wrong. ;)
July 18th, 2007 at 11:04 am
I don’t know if it was his best tip but he gave me a huge handful of Andes Candies when we left.
I didn’t get a picture and Olive Garden hung up on me when I requested a photo shoot with the waiter but,
*insert waka-oom waka-oom porn music here*
First you run your hand through your hair, then you sit slightly sideways in your chair. One shoulder is leaning back and the other is slightly forward. Your chin is low and your head slightly tilted toward the back shoulder. You make eye contact with the object of your desire. Lick your lips, wink, and proceed to embarass the hell out of yourself.
* end waka-oom waka-oom porn music *
* Insert laugh track * ;)